Words To Live By

2020 is going to be my Year of the Word.  Not just no, but Hell No, to resolutions, and this year, I have an urge to keep it even simpler than intentions.  I love words, their power, their multiple meanings, the way they get to be building blocks for complicated and interesting stories.

Here are my words for the coming year:

1.       Potent: When we are truthful, when we stand our ground, when we relax into our own style… when we dare to know something or dare to give a shit about something, when we dare to get angry or compassionate – then we are in potency. When we succumb to life’s scraped knees and the learning there. When we love ourselves and think we are good company, whether or not someone else is around. When we believe our hearts and guts know things – and we pay attention. I aspire to more of these moments, strung together; I aspire to spend as much time here in the next decade as I can.

2.       Raw and real: I know a lot – I know a lot about humans and their motivation, about money and giving and tangled stories, about how to raise money, about how to parent (and how not to), how to make tasty soup.  And I’m learning that even when I am a giant mess, even when I’m having a really bad day, even when I’m learning something painful (or painfully learning) – in other words, when I am in raw and real instead of polished and together – I still get to be competent.  It doesn’t make me lesser to show up in raw and real.  In fact, I am learning that the more generous I get with what’s going on for me, the more other people find permission to do the same.

3.       Tender: I need more of this, and I imagine I’m not alone.  I want to be more tender with myself: more gentle, more compassionate, less frustrated, less bullying with my internal words.  I want to be more tender with others: to remember that when people are assholes, it’s often because they’re not skilled at not being assholes. That doesn’t mean I have to enjoy them, or want to spend time with them, or not hold a boundary.  But it does mean that while I stay safe, I can also understand that most bad behavior – including my own – is motivated by pain. What might be possible if I could remember that more?

These are my words for the coming year and possibly even the coming decade.  What are yours?

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